vicodin

Finding Time and Working Well

by Rachel Happe on December 2, 2009

NZ_GlacierI’ve seen a couple of blog posts recently which made the point that we should never let up and that now is the time to push harder than ever. Andrew Hemingway wrote about how community managers need to do the same thing all weekend that they do during the week and Chris Brogan talked about taking things up a notch during the holiday season. Now I really like both Andrew and Chris a lot so this is not in any way a knock on them – I just have a different perspective and I’ve got to say the posts kind of just annoyed me. I don’t have any problem with being competitive or working hard – I’ve never been accused of missing either of those two traits – but they annoyed me because I’m feeling pretty flat out already and I think a lot of other people are feeling that way too.  As a woman, and as a woman with a few big family events going on, I also can’t responsibly spend more of my time with my head in the computer or on the phone. If I did the turkey wouldn’t get cooked, the parents wouldn’t get cared for, the presents wouldn’t get wrapped, and the guest bed wouldn’t get made. And while I probably feel this more acutely as a woman, that quest for balance and the need to take care of life outside of work is shared by many of the men I know.

From a community management perspective, the enduring real life relationships we have with family and good friends is what allows us to have passion and energy for the work that we do. Ignoring those relationships in favor of another blog post or one more conversation with one more member is just not a good prioritization of time.  All relationships require maintenance and the richer the relationship, the more time it requires. Community managers need that base of solid relationships because often the community management job is fairly isolating despite all the interactions.  Often community managers have few peers within their own organizations and they have a position of authority within there communities that necessitates a somewhat formal relationship with members, despite being on friendly terms with them.  It’s a lot like being a parent – you are friendly with your children obviously but when a rule needs to be enforced, you are not there to be their friend, you are there to guide them to make the right choice.  So as community managers, it is absolutely critical to nurture friendships and relationships outside of your work realm. That requires being disciplined enough to take a break – even if emails are piling up.  The emails will be there tomorrow and if you set the expectation with your community of when you are available and when you are not, it becomes the accepted norm.

I am a big fan of turning off the switch and stepping back from the screen. Balancing for me means that I try very hard to reserve weekends for down time. There are definitely exceptions to that – deadlines and emergencies come up, but in general I try to set the expectation that I am not available for work on the weekends even though I often lurk to see if anything is going on that needs immediate attention. On the weekends I spend time with my family and friends, I get outside, I cook… and most importantly I get some distance and perspective about my work.   It provides a really important reminder that we have control over how we work and the choices we make. It allows me to understand and execute better on my own priorities – both family- and work-related. And critically, it allows me to come back to the work week refreshed and energized.  I believe that the time off we take is just as critical to our happiness and long-term success as is the work that we do.  And yes, there will always be people who are working while I am cooking a family dinner and they may benefit from that in ways I cannot take advantage of because of my competing priorities… and that is OK with me because I prioritize differently.

The upshot – know what priorities are important to you and be disciplined enough to invest in those priorities every week. As community managers we all know the feeling of being stretched thin and overwhelmed. Take the time to recharge and come back with the energy to handle issues constructively.  How do you make sure you get the time you need to recharge? It’s not easy.

And yes, the glacier in New Zealand was very, very cool!!

  • http://jeffhora.wordpress.com Jeff Hora

    Being “on” too much desensitizes my creativity and ability to listen. I completely agree that it takes greater discipline to stand back from the screen and hit the Big Red Button regularly (whatever works for you….for me, it’s the weekends and when I take a full-out vacation) than to amp it up through everyone elses’ downtime. If that means that I’m not preceived as hyper-competitive, that may be a good thing or a bad thing, according to someone elses’ definition. However, I work very hard at not letting others define who I am.

    Thanks for this post. Glad to see others working through this too!

  • Naomi Marr

    Excellent post, Rachel and I totally agree. I read something once that stuck with me. It was a suggestion that social media folks need to step away from the keyboard and get out and live because contrary to what some of them might think, it’s actually their life experiences that are the most interesting to their followers.

    I’ve tried to keep that thought in the back of my head while plowing forward with my career. It’s OK to say, “No. I didn’t see that Tweet because I was at a wine tasting. What was it about?” Or, something like, “No. I didn’t see it. I was out to dinner at that new restaurant that opened last week.” It’s OK and it’s what makes us the interesting and multifaceted people we are!

    I can’t speak specifically to what Chris or Andrew meant with their posts, but I do know that in the job hunting arena, the holidays ARE a time when you must push forward and work harder than ever. There are a couple of reasons for that approach but the primary reason is that most companies hire in January and February. If you work hard in November and December then as a candidate you’ve already developed a relationship with hiring organizations and will have a leg up on those candidates that decided to take the holidays off (which is VERY tempting! ;) ) I think it’s important that job hunters push hard during this season, but other than in that particular case, I think it’s very healthy for folks to steps away and live a bit — especially at this time of the year! Happy holidays and may you take some well-deserved R&R.

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  • http://commonground.edrnet.com Barbara Hannan

    Rachel, you are my new hero.

    Your post is very similar to the thoughts that run through my head daily. Two truths I have discovered: 1) Whenever I take any portion of time away from my work I return with a clearer, fresh, healthier perspective – and 2) My family, friends and personal life/responsibilities are in no way less important than my work. I have conducted my career with passion, drive and focus but I follow one rule that I instituted 20 years ago as a result of a critical incident in my life.

    I call it the 51/49 percent rule.

    In those times when I am torn between family and work, family gets 51 percent. Always – and I have never regretted it.

    What you discover – is that the work is always there waiting for you and lilfe still goes on — only you are happier.

  • http://www.nsisolution.com Caroline Gagnon

    Hello,

    It is my first time on your blog, and I totally agree with your point of view. We all need balance in life, and weekend and holidays should be use to reload our batteries!

    It’s good to see that someone has the guts to tell it loud.

  • http://www.community-roundtable.com Rachel Happe

    Hi Jeff, Naomi, Barbara, & Caroline -

    Thanks so much for the comments. It’s definitely a struggle for a lot of us as more things go online and the work world seems to move faster than ever… while most personal activities still take the time and attention they always have. It’s also so much harder to really detach these days but I think important.

    Naomi – you bring up a *great* point about keeping up the effort during the holidays if you are looking for a job. And I do think this is applicable to other things as well… the holidays cause a lot of businesses to put off decisions until everyone is back in the office again in January (often because it requires the buy-in from lots of people) so, very fair point.

    Rachel

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